log cabin - thank you

September of 2007 I began a journey of discovery.  I visited my hometown in the northwestern part of Wisconsin and was compelled by instinct to take my savings and invest in a parcel of land at the south end of the lake where I was raised.  The voice in my head I referred to as my FIELD OF DREAMS speaking to me.  I purchased the land which is 1000 miles from where I live in New York City without a plan or vision.
Over these past few years my life changed and it was all due to the inner voice saying - "Do this.  You will know why in time."
I started with a rental trailer, and then the purchase of my own.  I felt this would be enough.  Right.  Then the log cabin idea came to me through my friend Karla.  I found a cabin built in Amish territory in central Wisconsin.  The workmanship was old world and simple.  Perfect.  It was transported to my little 5 acres on the south end of the lake.  I was so proud.  With each and every step of the way, with the help of my friends and those around, I developed this little sanctuary into a sacred space only for me.  The corner of the Wood Lake spoke to me.  It reminded me of the boy I left behind, the Prince of the North Shore.  For more than one reason I needed to reclaim that boy and bring him into the adult that I thought I had grown into.
You see this log cabin was a vessel for me to grow.  It gave me permission to step away from my 25 year relationship because that itself was overdue and we were broken.  It unveiled the reality that we needed to go our separate ways.  With every trip back I deconstructed my father, who sold off our beloved family vacation cabin in the mid 70's due to my mother's failing health and financial needs, but all I did was blame him for another let down. A fracture that never mended and was ever talked about while he was alive.    So this little cabin let me deconstuct my father, forgive him and build him into the imperfect man that he was, allowing me to love him for the first time, the way a son should love his father.  
I created something from nothing.  It was all in my heart.  The healing I needed came organically and allowed me to step into a new chapter of my life.  This cabin opened the conversation to family and friends that has blessed me with another house on the lake that I could have never imagined would be mine.
But stories have endings and today marked that back binding of the story of the Log Cabin.  I have sold the cabin to two who I never met as the landscape around the cabin has changed and so have I.
This is the ultimate "letting go" as I have loved this little cabin for the enormous lessons I have learned, the silence that I now embrace every day and the true gratitude that I feel for this life I have today.
Thank you to everyone who ever entered this sacred space and supported me on this real journey.
and so it is.......

in winter ....

in winter ....

She Let Go

She Let Go

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments.  She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.  She let go of the committee of indecision within her.  She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go.  She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go.  She let go of all of the memories that held her back.  She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.  She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.

No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

From the Daily Word and resonates with me everyday....

Limitations come from beliefs I hold about myself or that I may have accepted from others. The world may use labels to describe me, or try to impose limits that feel like chains holding me back. I have the key to liberate myself from those chains.

I break free by no longer identifying with limits or labels. I speak only powerful, uplifting words of Truth about myself: The magnificence of The Divine dwells in me. I use all my gifts to be Spirit’s wisdom and love in expression.

Each time I affirm the Truth, I dissolve any beliefs that diminish my full expression as a human and a divine being. Whatever my gender, race, appearance, or abilities, I live freely as a unique expression of The Divine.


Sprung from the same fountain,

In droplets, we swam,

In depths or on the surface.

Nevertheless, reached the same shore,

Where a learned guide,

Raised us up in his palms,

With care, and in flow.

A pool created out of droplets,

Inmates we became, even for a while.

A hope it is now,

That we shall continue to search,

For the ocean within.

In our journeys ahead, not forget,

What the learned guide spoke,

To our good impulses well,

Keep us united, 

keep us in touch.


Martha Graham quote .... powerful dance

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique.

And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost.

The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions.

It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work.

You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. ... No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time.

There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.

oh this beautiful dance...


Understandably this holiday is a time to connect with people near and far.  It sets the holidays into light speed and the forces all around open early, deeply discount and feed the need to consume.  It was a surprise and a pleasure to set no agenda this year and go with "the flow".  I had many real surprises unfold and enjoyed a most unexpected holiday.  A dear friend called out of the blue and asked to stop in between commitments.  We enjoyed a chat and a hug and a speed round of entertainment.  Warm feeling.  Then I was unexpected texted to by another close friend asking me to join in a meal with a few people near me, just after preparing a turkey breast for myself to have later in the afternoon.  I said YES, as I think we should all do when at the crossroads of an invitation for good.  I showered and spruced myself up - turned off the turkey in the oven and let it cook through (hopefully).  I grabbed some cheese and crackers from my cupboard and two dozens roses on the short walk 7 blocks north and YES became a spontaneous and heartwarming meal with new friends.  

Traditions are rich and full of history and commentary, but this holiday I was so pleasantly engaged, increasing my own tradition of openness and being fully awake for my good that this Thanksgiving was a present.  

I am full - literally.

SPRING app launching soon.....

It is exciting to launch the MADE BY HAND Jon Giswold shop within the SPRING app coming for the holidays.  Launch date to be released.  This luxury shopping app is the next generation of finding luxury products from artists and labels that are taste makers and beyond trend setters.  This carefully curated app has invited me to join their ranks of labels and brands that could not be a finer line up to be aligned.  How thrilling for me as I set out to create these modern heirlooms to order.  Each one of my items are one of a kind, as are those who will possess them.

Truly humbled and excited to sharer this revisit of my past - knitting from my childhood - into my future.  Expressing a creative craft that is near to my heart.

quote or be quoted

In a discussion the other night with a close friend I made an interesting discovery.  I am sitting in a place in my life that is good.  Not extraordinary, not awesome, not sublime... but good.  My effort to be good and affirm that my life is good has paid off.  I breathe and know that I am in my flow, divinely inspired and grateful.  In the conversation I said something that I thought to myself... "who said that?".  I did.  Had to make sure it came from me... yup.  I am in a good place in my life.


I love my life and I am letting my life love me back.



ONE DAY AT A TIME ..... I am grateful for 28 years of sobriety ......I am truly BLESSED and so Grateful that I am sober today. Single handedly the greatest thing I have ever done. What I have learned is that I AM imperfect. That I can live and love in tandem with a power greater than myself. Getting out of my way and having FAITH that all I do and all I have done is a lesson ... still learning. Taking time each and every day to step into the silence, now knowing that stillness is always there for me to tap into and have TRUTH revealed. SERVICE allows me to see face to face myself and other human beings that are trying to do their best, even if it may not look quite the way I would do it. What a life.  
Thanks to my family, close friends and those out in the social networks for your support, kind words and love.

It is good to be fully awake and SOBER.

a past posting to the masses on FaceBook

Two people in my building took their lives in the past month. One lovely girl that I ate pizza with just two weeks ago. No sign of pain that would result in such a dramatic act. Reminds me of the loneliness and isolation that is so present in this overextended social mediated world. The synthetic relationships here are not enough. Broadcasting our lives isn't living our lives enough. We can post the events that shape our days - as I do too - but living the experience is more vital to me today.
The result of these events is that I am claiming my dearest and nearest. Knowing that they keep me from falling into a spiral of isolation and despair. Knowing that I am loved and can love deeply in return. Showing up for my family and friends enough to fly great distance to be with them. Showing up for myself daily to connect to Spirit and those who are like minded. Extending myself through service to show those I don't know, that I too see them as I hope they see me.
Lonely. Yes. I think we all are. What do I do about it. I reach out. I ask for the world to show up for me. At the beginning and end of every day, I am grateful for what this world has offered as my present.
Bless this young woman who impacted me so. The single candle burning there yesterday was a simple and singular remembrance of this elegant soul that was here. I saw her. I enjoyed the moments we shared. I know that she is free. Let your nearest and dearest know how you feel. That can be the greatest thing you can do today.

Just for you...

This site and blog was created for you to enjoy. To give you a glimpse into my world of fitness and lifestyle.  I have had a varied and wonderful career that spans four decades.  From fashion to folk craft and many diverse things in the middle.  The middle is where living is.  You are most welcome to join me on this new adventure as my creative juices flow and the excitement that I have about living each and every day present and accounted for will be shared and open to conversation.  I hope that you find it interesting enough to come back.  I have explained to many close to me that my new found freedom came as an understanding that I am the light, and if drawn to the light be illuminated.  That's all.